Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Archives for the ‘funnies’ Category

Something to whine about

Author: johnm68 • Mar 13th, 2013 • Category: funnies
By John Miller, Funnies Editor This last Monday, March 11, 2013, I witnessed a brazen disregard for Goshen’s community standards. The Rott (occasionally referred to by its nickname, “Westlawn Dining Hall”) was serving pork chops for lunch. What made these pork...

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Inside/Outside Voices, 3/7/13

Author: johnm68 • Mar 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
"Hi, this is Sophie Lapp, and if you're interested in going to the ISC coffeehouse dinner, I can provide you with a ticket, and a not-so-blind, but well-dressed date... which would be me. Also, disclaimer is that I can't provide you with a ticket to the show. So email me if...

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GC charges ‘an arm and a leg’ for 2013-14 school year

Author: johnm68 • Mar 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
By Jonny Hersh, Contributing Writer Earlier this week, Goshen College announced a tuition hike for the 2013-2014 school year that was met by a number of varied responses. Stuart Graber, a junior informatics major---always the optimist---responded in favor of the...

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A fiery new symbol

Author: brianao • Mar 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
A fiery new symbol By Brian "the Lion" O'Leary, Funnies Editor In light of John D. Roth’s call during convocation for the construction of a new "Martyrs Mirror," I would like to make my own challenge to the status quo by soliciting a new mascot for Goshen College. I recognize that the...

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Inside/Outside Voices 2/21/2013

Author: brianao • Feb 21st, 2013 • Category: funnies
"Hello, this is Josiah Simpson. I would just like to say anybody at Goshen College is welcome to challenge me to a booty shaking contest. 'Cause right now I'm king-o-the-castle. So if you're ready to throw down let me know! Peace." -Josiah 'King-o-the-castle'...

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Artist’s Corner picks the wrong corner

Author: johnm68 • Feb 21st, 2013 • Category: funnies
Artist’s Corner picks the wrong corner John Miller hasn’t always considered himself an artist. “I didn’t realize that what I did with my food could be considered art,” he said over a meal at the Rott. “Now that I consider it art, it is.” Miller, a junior physics major, has been making faces out of...

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Faculty quotes out of context 2/21/13

Author: johnm68 • Feb 21st, 2013 • Category: funnies
Faculty quotes out of context 2/21/13 ...

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Overheard at the Brew

Author: johnm68 • Feb 20th, 2013 • Category: funnies
Overheard at the Brew By: Kate Friesen and Jessie Gotwals, Contributing Funnies Writers As a way to support the local Goshen economy, we go to the Brew every Tuesday. One particular day, we were working hard on hdubz (homework, that is) when all of a sudden we heard from the table next to us...

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Inside/Outside Voices 2/14/2013

Author: brianao • Feb 13th, 2013 • Category: funnies
"Hello this is Kaleb 'Short Tie' Batten calling to let everyone know that I can say anything and get it printed in Inside/Outside Voices because I say the word short tie. Short Tie!" -Nathaniel Tann "This is Josh Yoder calling and I would just like to say that I just...

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Shenanigans! A call for legal action

Author: brianao • Feb 13th, 2013 • Category: funnies
By Brian O'Leary, Funnies Editor Last week the Goshen College community heard disturbing news that some hooligan had been using a Twitter account under a fake name to garner attention and spread gossip about GC students. That’s right, "Goshen Weekends" was a hoax! The...

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A modest proposal

Author: johnm68 • Feb 13th, 2013 • Category: funnies
A modest proposal By John Miller, Funnies Editor I want to begin by saying that I heartily enjoyed attending Kick-Off, Concerto Aria and "Cock." Kick-Off and Concerto Aria both offered some sublime musical moments, and "Cock" sent me back and forth from laughter to nervous anticipation....

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Inside/Outside Voices 2/7/13

Author: brianao • Feb 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
"Hi, my name is Indy Miller and I am inside voices but I am outside voices right now because I am inside but I am outside!" -Indy Miller using Grace Boehm's phone " from everyone on Cambodia SST. How's that winter weather treating you Goshen? It's about, lets see, 80...

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Faculty Quotes Out of Context 2/7/13

Author: johnm68 • Feb 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
Faculty Quotes Out of Context 2/7/13 ...

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Goshen headed down a slippery slope

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Feb 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
By John W. Miller, Funnies Editor We’ve received troubling news at The Record this week. The news is so treacherous that Goshen College, as we know it, may cease to exist. I’m speaking, of course, of the announcement that Student Life has decided to extend the...

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An encouraging letter

Author: brianao • Feb 7th, 2013 • Category: funnies
Fill in the blanks with your own words! Dear, I know that you have decided to on your career as a/an , but I want you to . Just think about how many rely on your services. Every you keep of satisfied and ensure that they lead lives. Remember how many times you...

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