Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Archives for the ‘funnies’ Category

Real skillz for the real world

Author: Daniel Penner • Apr 11th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Real skillz for the real world The end of the school year is here. In a short week, gowns will be flowing and caps will be throwing. Then May Term. And finally summer. The coming months of sweat and suntan lotion bring a number of things—ice cream, fresh-cut grass and perhaps a camping trip or...

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Funnyman makes it big

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Apr 11th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Funnyman makes it big One day before April Fool's day, I received an email forwarded to me by Matthew Amstutz. The email was from a man named “Mark Saltveit,” who claimed to be the editor of “Palindromist Magazine” and the world champion of palindromes, dubbed by none other than Will...

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Nate Day’s weekly palindrome(s) 4/12

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Apr 11th, 2012 • Category: funnies
- "Debt? Naw, I walk cum laude. Dual: Muck & Law. I want bed!" - "Draw no missive: Rev is Simon Ward." - "Emit no pants if I, cap an' robe, born a pacifist, nap on...

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From the police blotters:

Author: Nate Day • Mar 28th, 2012 • Category: funnies
As Mr. Penner so eloquently explained in his testimony, it is unfitting for a Christian to laugh. I agree with this wholeheartedly and feel that this space could be better used to inform citizens of events in the surrounding community. The following is a transcript of...

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Nate Day’s Weekly Palindrome 3/29

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 28th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Diaper School: Aloof is April first, Sir, lip air fools!...

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Why a Christian ought not laugh: or anyone else for that matter

Author: Daniel Penner • Mar 28th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Why a Christian ought not laugh: or anyone else for that matter This past week, I tried to tell a joke. It wasn’t a bad joke; in fact, it might have been a good joke, but it was, above all, insensitive.  Upon being informed of my cousin’s aunt’s stroke, I thought a joke would be the best way to rid the ensuing awkward expression...

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Inside Voices 3/29

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 28th, 2012 • Category: funnies
"Dear large, intimidating basketball player. Here's an idea, how about you don't walk through the rott during the busiest part of the lunch hour with a plate piled high with food while checking your phone. Healing the world by paying attention to your surroundings. Ponder...

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Inside/Outside Voices 3/22

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 21st, 2012 • Category: funnies
"Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks ... ooooooh ... Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks ... ooooooh ... Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks ... ooooooh ... Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks, Matthew sucks. Also Jacob...

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Dabbling in dunking delirium

Author: Nate Day • Mar 21st, 2012 • Category: funnies
Dabbling in dunking delirium Did you know that in addition to “B-League” basketball, many colleges have sports teams that actually go to other colleges and play against them? I learned that this week, when my friends convinced me to sign up to participate in a sort of legal (they tell me)...

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People and their pets: An interview with an elementary education major

Author: Daniel Penner • Mar 21st, 2012 • Category: funnies
People and their pets: An interview with an elementary education major Does anybody else think it’s funny when people end up looking like their pets? Like that bald guy with a squashed nose who owns a bulldog, or the poodle-lover with weird, fluffy hair? Sometimes the resemblance is simply uncanny. This brings me to another phenomenon...

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Nate Day’s palindrome 3/15

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 15th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Pact: a Honda by FitRec. Name? Cap's RD name? Lo! Chad ... ah ... Coleman. Dr. Spaceman, certify: bad. No hat;...

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Suicide rates soar, circumstances fishy

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 15th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Suicide rates soar, circumstances fishy Dear Reader, It was a regular Monday morning; the radio blared to wake me and I rubbed my eyes as I shrugged my bathrobe onto my shoulders. I stumbled into the adjacent room to start the coffee but was stopped short halfway to the machine. There, on the white linoleum...

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Poetry out of pierogies: A call for AVI Fresh to extend its writings beyond the cateteria

Author: Daniel Penner • Mar 15th, 2012 • Category: funnies
Poetry out of pierogies: A call for AVI Fresh to extend its writings beyond the cateteria There is a lot to appreciate when you go to the Westlawn Dining Hall - the smiles and hellos of Trudy, Elsie and the crew, an endless supply of chocolate milk and the likelihood of a great conversation with fellow Leaf diners. All of that, however wonderful, may not be my...

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Inside/Outside Voices 3/8

Author: Matthew Amstutz • Mar 8th, 2012 • Category: funnies
"Hi, this is, ah, Nate Day, calling in for the editors of The Record, just to, ah, a little note for stylistics. The easiest thing in the world to edit is a palindrome, because if you look at the end and read it backwards it should say the same thing as it goes forwards....

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Benevolent choir to share music, time with simple country folk

Author: Daniel Penner • Feb 23rd, 2012 • Category: funnies
Benevolent choir to share music, time with simple country folk For the 2012 'Light in the Darkness Tour,’ Goshen Men’s Chorus looks to the west this coming spring break week, in concern for those neighbors scattered on the wrong side of the Mississippi.  Passing through Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa, the men’s choir is undoubtedly...

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