"We need a little comic relief, so I'm going to show you an explicit sex scene." -JoAnn Brant
"It's like some wild threesome... That's a bad analogy." - Kevin Gary
“If you want to be sitting in a chair, that’s okay. If you want to be holding a beer... 
Hello again, dear readers. I don’t know if you have realized this yet, but this issue of The Record is the last one of the year! Another spring semester has come and gone and for many of you that just means May term, summer, then another year. But some of us, like... 
By Brian O'Leary, Funnies Editor
As some of you April-or-May not have noticed, this past Sunday was Easter. Now I do not know about the rest of you, dear readers, but I personally find Easter to be an egg-cellent time of year, full of good cheer and hoppy... 
Last Saturday I was elected “King of Goshen College” at Goshen's first-annual masquerade ball. Candidates were chosen based on the quality of their masks, and I was elected through a complex cheering process. I'd like to acknowledge that the stunning mask I wore was... 
