Saturday, November 07, 2009

Archives for the ‘funnies’ Category

350, A conspiracy?

By Michael Neumann • Nov 4th, 2009 • Category: funnies
350, A conspiracy?
As many of us know, there has been a lot of talk about this whole ‘350’ stuff on campus, and I for one, have become quite skeptical. ‘350 this and 350 that,’ gheeez! I’m starting to forget there are even other numbers out there! Unless you’ve been living under a...

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English: Putting the Graham in Grammar

By Aaron Kaufmann • Nov 4th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Have any of you ever taken an English course and been completely confused by just about every aspect of it?  I certainly know that I have.  English is the most confusing language I can think of!  Our very language is littered with literary hypocrisies and shortcomings....

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Last night, we came to a realization

Oct 28th, 2009 • Category: funnies

By: Jacob Schlabach and Beth Glick Last night, we came to a realization. Someone needs to invent a shirt that constantly gives a lower-back massage. They make shirts with flaps that allude to opening animal mouths, so surely we’re just steps away from a wearable...

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Grey Shirts: What to do if you encounter a bear

By Michael Neumann • Oct 14th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Grey Shirts: What to do if you encounter a bear
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Grey Shirts: the s’more witch trials

By Michael Neumann • Oct 7th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Grey Shirts: the s’more witch trials
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Go Green-shen Go!

By Aaron Kaufmann • Oct 7th, 2009 • Category: funnies

I suppose that you have all heard about this “Going Green” that Goshen is apparently taking part in.  But how many of you have actually thought about what that actually means, or what the consequences might be to us, the students? Now don’t preemptively call me a...

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Weathering Goshen

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 30th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Remember those good old days, namely last week, when the weather was B-E-A-utiful and the sun shone so warmly?  Well, I hate to break it to you, but those days are gone for a long long time now.  (Somewhere in the background either the rumble of thunder or the booming...

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Grey Shirts: following Jesus

By Michael Neumann • Sep 30th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Grey Shirts: following Jesus
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Your mom sent you a friendship request

By Michael Neumann • Sep 24th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Your mom sent you a friendship request
If you ask me, there are two different types of people in this world. There are people who will laugh at image 1.1 (see right) and there are people who will not. The people who will not, just so happen to be the people who have had a mother or father join Facebook and...

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Grey Shirts: Making a toast

By Michael Neumann • Sep 17th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Grey Shirts: Making a toast
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Funnies Page Too Big

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 16th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Well, people, I have come to the realizaion that the funnies page is, in fact, too big.  I mean, with how serious the world is, I don’t see how we can, in good conscience, devote an entire page to amusement. LOMGS (that stands for Like Oh My Gosh Seriously), life is too...

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Recrudescence

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 16th, 2009 • Category: funnies

How many of you remember that little column that used to be run in the Record called "Inside/Outside Voices"? And no, I am not talking about those little guys that like to talk to me when no one else is around . . . just a sec. "No Bob, I can't go to Disneyland with you...

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Grey Shirts: First-year Survival Guide

By Michael Neumann • Sep 9th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Grey Shirts: First-year Survival Guide
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Peace by What?

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 9th, 2009 • Category: funnies
Peace by What?
How many of you have looked at the new motto “Peace by Peace” and wondered if it has been misspelled?  I have.  At first, I thought, “Shouldn’t it be ‘Piece by Piece?’” Then I realized the truth—it is a college motto.  This means that it has to be...

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Top 10 Survival Guide for First Years

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 9th, 2009 • Category: funnies

10.) Jim Brenneman can do one fingered push-ups while reciting Hebrew Bible passages. 9.) Following the signs and yielding to trains is in your best interests health-wise. 8.) Be nice to the lunch ladies; they serve your food. 7.) The tunnels do exist--seek them;...

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