The Record » Aaron Kaufmann

En-Cage-ing Study

By Aaron Kaufmann • Nov 11th, 2009 • Category: funnies

As I sit here looking out of the second story window of the library, I have come to the realization that things are changing on campus. Neither the typical change from green to gold to bare that the trees make, nor the precipitation going from rain to snow, nor even the...

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English: Putting the Graham in Grammar

By Aaron Kaufmann • Nov 4th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Have any of you ever taken an English course and been completely confused by just about every aspect of it? I certainly know that I have. English is the most confusing language I can think of! Our very language is littered with literary hypocrisies and shortcomings....

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Go Green-shen Go!

By Aaron Kaufmann • Oct 7th, 2009 • Category: funnies

I suppose that you have all heard about this “Going Green” that Goshen is apparently taking part in. But how many of you have actually thought about what that actually means, or what the consequences might be to us, the students? Now don’t preemptively call me a...

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Weathering Goshen

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 30th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Remember those good old days, namely last week, when the weather was B-E-A-utiful and the sun shone so warmly? Well, I hate to break it to you, but those days are gone for a long long time now. (Somewhere in the background either the rumble of thunder or the booming...

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Funnies Page Too Big

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 16th, 2009 • Category: funnies

Well, people, I have come to the realizaion that the funnies page is, in fact, too big. I mean, with how serious the world is, I don’t see how we can, in good conscience, devote an entire page to amusement. LOMGS (that stands for Like Oh My Gosh Seriously), life is too...

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Recrudescence

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 16th, 2009 • Category: funnies

How many of you remember that little column that used to be run in the Record called "Inside/Outside Voices"? And no, I am not talking about those little guys that like to talk to me when no one else is around . . . just a sec. "No Bob, I can't go to Disneyland with you...

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Peace by What?

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 9th, 2009 • Category: funnies

How many of you have looked at the new motto “Peace by Peace” and wondered if it has been misspelled? I have. At first, I thought, “Shouldn’t it be ‘Piece by Piece?’” Then I realized the truth—it is a college motto. This means that it has to be...

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Top 10 Survival Guide for First Years

By Aaron Kaufmann • Sep 9th, 2009 • Category: funnies

10.) Jim Brenneman can do one fingered push-ups while reciting Hebrew Bible passages. 9.) Following the signs and yielding to trains is in your best interests health-wise. 8.) Be nice to the lunch ladies; they serve your food. 7.) The tunnels do exist--seek them;...

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The fury of nature unleashed

By Aaron Kaufmann • Mar 18th, 2009 • Category: features

For many of us the idea of a tornado sends chills down our spines. For Josh Hofer, a sophomore, tornadoes bring different emotions. Hofer does not fear tornadoes. He chases them. Hofer has been chasing tornadoes with his father, Todd, since his elementary school...

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A major overhaul at Goshen College

By Aaron Kaufmann • Jan 12th, 2009 • Category: funnies

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