Hi, this is Kaleb “Short Tie” Batten calling to let everyone know that they should wear short ties to Kickoff this year.  It’s a bold fashion statement that tells the world, “My tie is short, and I don’t care who knows.” Short Tie out.

- Kaleb “Short Tie” Batten

Moments make up hours. Hours make up days. Days make up months. Months make up years. Years make up lives. This isn’t a test run. This is a test.

- A wise sage

Hey, it’s 7:50 in Java and it’s gonna open any minute. I just know it.

- Jess Sprunger

Java is still not open. Maybe they’re on Mountain time. Going to apartment 203 for a good time. #baristasathome, #consumerreports.

- Jess Sprunger