Hey, this is allegedly Daniel Barwick. I just want to say I read the Record this week, and shout out to the Funnies page. That stuff was hilarious. Becca is the best editor ever! Also, Jackson Beck’s smiling is … tempting. Oh gosh it’s tempting. Okay, bye!

-       Daniel Barwick

Hey, this Matthew Amstutz saying: [Howell house is so pleased to have the men of Kenwood as neighbors. We respect them, and look up to them in all aspects of life].

-       Matthew Amstutz (He actually said “Howell house. Kenwood sucks!”)

It’s like 12:20 now, and it’s late and I’m going to bed. Becca, I’m tired and I’m going to bed. I’m gettin’ sooo old.

-       Grant Miller

Joel Meyer is too vulgar and I don’t like him in general. Shalom.

-       Matthew Amstutz

Hi, this is Paul Bunyan from the island of Cyprus. All I’ve got to say is Matthew Amstutz is a tasty treat.

-       Henry Stewart

I was in the Rott the other day and I saw a freshman playing with his iPad. Turns out it was just Clayton Miller.

-       Carlin Epp